Cycle
by Twipi
Summary: Everyone at Condor Studios has a deadly problem they are hiding, but will they ever be able to pick each others' pieces up?  T BECAUSE IT IS KIND OF DARK. MULTI-CHAPTER
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: Don't own SWAC, sorry :D**

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**This is kind of dark (and OOC) for a Sonny FF (I've read some as dark though) but I'm doing it for two reasons**

**1) I have a fascination with different disorders/other problems. One day I would love to help people cope with these disorders/other problems. **

**2) Maybe if someone has one of these problems mentioned in the story, then they will want to go get help. Who knows. If you do have symptoms of said problems, then please, get help! You don't want to live your life not to its fullest. Trust me. **

Cycle

CH: 1 SONNY

I am Sonny Munroe. Most of you would know me from "So Random." I'm the new funny girl, and that's all I've ever been. The funny girl. I've never been the smart girl, or the cool girl, and definitely not the pretty girl. I'm just the funny girl. It hasn't helped that I've been chubby my whole life. My mom says it's just baby fat, but I don't believe her. Who would? I'm just fat, and that's all I'll ever be. That's why my dad left. He left because he had a fat daughter. Who would want to love me, anyway? That's why my mom sent me out here to Hollywood. She probably wanted me to feel pressured to get skinnier. No matter how hard I try, though, I just keep getting fatter. I'm practically a giant. I mean, I weigh 125 pounds. My mom says that normal, but I know she's lying. Everyone lies to me about their weight. Tawni said she was 130, but I know she's no more than 95. Look at her, she's a stick. And, I have to look at her skinnyness all day. I hate her for that.

Then there's Chad Dylan Cooper. He really hates me. He can't find anything better to do then to pick on me. I guess I kind of like him, but he would never want me. He only dates skinny girls. I'm not a skinny girl.

I decide to cope with all of this by trying my best to lose weight. I exercise every day. I run at least three miles, but I usually try to run six to make the evil go away. The evil is all those calories that keep adding up inside of me, trying to make me fat. I also try to not eat any of the enemy. Sometimes, the enemy wins, and I eat a cracker or two, but I try to avoid that. My mom tells me that I should eat more, but I know she just wants me to get fat so she can leave me.

This not eating thing didn't start that long ago. I guess it was sort of a progression to help try to find the thin me. It all started one day when Tawni and I were getting ready for the Check It Out Girls sketch. I noticed how skinny she was, and then I looked into the mirror, and realized how much fatter I was. At this point, I had already been on a strict exercise regimen. I was still eating, though. I was eating the enemy that would kill me in the end. When I looked into the mirror that day, I vowed to stop eating. I couldn't let these calories go inside me. They were like poison. This was about a week ago.

I've only lost about five pounds in this past week. It's not enough, though. In fact, I think the scales lie. I've probably gained about ten pounds. I mean, I sure look that way. All I see when I look into the mirror is that double chin, those love handles, and all the other things that are wrong with me. I want to know why I can't lose weight. I want to look like Tawni. I need to be like Tawni. I need her perfection. I need to be thin.

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**Sad, huh? These first chapters will just be intros to the characters and their problems, so sorry if they aren't very long. I hope you enjoyed! R&R!**

**Love, Twipi :D  
**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: Don't own SWAC, or Barbie :D**

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**Once again, I want to warn everybody, this is intense subject matter. If you're not 13 or older, I suggest you don't read it. It's not super inappropriate or anything, it just deals with hard issues like anorexia and alcoholism and such. So, yeah, watch yourselves. **

CH. 2 TAWNI

My name is Tawni Hart. You probably all know me as the perfect blonde on So Random. The one with the perfect hair, the perfect skin, the perfect clothes, the perfect body, the perfect smile, and so forth. This is how I get stereotyped. I'm the Barbie of Hollywood. I'm the little perfect plastic girl. That's what everyone wants me to be. The frustrating part is, that's definitely not who I am.

It's stressful trying to be perfect all the time. I have to constantly exercise, constantly check my makeup, always be updating my wardrobe, always try to be seen with someone important, and the list goes on. Does anyone in your life expect you to be perfect like that? It's like you have to hold a boulder on your shoulders all day, letting it slowly crush you. The worst part is, no one cares if your smart. Nobody knows this, but I actually have a brain, even though I don't act it. The dumb blond thing is just a façade. Really, I'm the top of Miss Bitterman's class. Zora's very good, but secretly, I'm better. I pay Miss Bitterman not to tell the class and hand me back fake Bs and Cs. I really do go that far, because maybe people won't expect as much out of me.

This isn't my huge secret though. The secret is how I deal with my stress. I drink. I don't go out and party at clubs, no, that's just stupid and frivolous. No, I'm an alcoholic. I'm old enough to drink, I'm 22, but I'm Hollywood's It Girl, and I'm supposed to behave, so I hide it. I go out in a brown wig and buy the poison after work each day. Then I go to my apartment and drink until I pass out. It's the only way I know to deal with the stress. It blurs my mind. The worst part is coming out of the drunken coma, though. Then comes the hangover. Every morning I wake up with a massive headache. Want to know why I'm so mean? Try having a migraine 24/7. Then, I have to throw up. Luckily, the vomit usually comes before work. And, if it happens during work, everyone usually just passes it off as me being sick. I have had a few people think I'm bulimic or something, but eventually they realize I'm not. So, I just hide my drinking problem.

I usually try not to drink at work. If I did, they would definitely know something was up. I did have to sneak some in one day, though. I had a big interview with Santiago Heraldo, and it was just too much pressure. Nobody else noticed . Maybe it's because they seem so absorbed in their own lives. I don't know what bugs them though.

Sonny, for example, is already perfect, like a Barbie doll. She should be Hollywood's It-Girl, not me. Lately, she has been getting awfully skinny, though. Oh well, Hollywood likes skinny. And when I start thinking about this again, it brings on the stress, then I need some alcohol, which I think I'm going to go drink now. I'm going to drink, until I black out.

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**Thank you to my first 4 reviewers! LOL, I hope people read this story, and I hope you enjoy it. And remember, if you think you need help with a problem, get help, NOW! R&R  
**

**Love, Twipi :D  
**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: Don't own SWAC! **

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CH 3: CHAD

My name is Chad Dylan Cooper. You probably know me as the heartthrob of Mackenzie Falls. Everyone thinks I'm cool, everyone thinks I'm awesome. That is what I keep telling myself. In actuality, there are some people who think I'm quite the opposite. My costar, Devon for example, he says I'm a pansy. He think that I'll never accomplish anything in my life because I'm not tough. Why does everyone have to be tough? Can't a person just be gentle and not be a total loser? Anyway, it's really tough being picked on, especially when you're supposed to be the number one actor of your generation.

I have to look tough somehow. Devon says the way to do this is to smoke. So, I picked up the habit, just so he would accept me. I thought I wouldn't get addicted. I thought I would stop once Devon accepted me. But for some reason, I couldn't stop. I was addicted. I probably smoke a whole pack a day. Every time we finish a scene, I go outside and smoke a cigarette or two. Yeah, I'm underage, but only by a few months. Doesn't everyone break the rules in Hollywood, anyway? I mean, Devon smoked too. But he was eighteen, and I was seventeen. So, technically, it was legal for him. But oh well, the smoking made me feel less stressed. Sure, I smelled worse and my teeth were less white, but anything to calm my nerves.

The worse thing is hiding it from my parents. I feel horrible going behind their back to do something that could just hurt me. I always tell them that I have to go back to work, and I really just drive over to the studio and smoke in my car. Lately, it's been pretty hard to breathe. I know that when you smoke, it's supposed to build up plaque in your lungs, but I though that I would be invincible. I don't know why I thought that. Anymore I just keep coughing, and it hurts.

It sure doesn't attract women. Secretly, I like Sonny Munroe, the head funny girl on So Random. She may be on a stupid show, but she's pretty and very talented. She would never like me, though. I smell horrible. A good girl like her would never date a guy who smells like tobacco. Whenever she asks why I smell like that, I just tell her that it's because of Devon. I'm not sure if she believes me. I hope she does. And then, I cough around her, like a lot. She always check to make sure I'm not sick or anything. I always lie and say it's just allergies. So, once again, I'm lying to the people I love.

And the coughing is getting scary. Just the other day, I coughed up a fistful of blood. Am I dying? Did I make a choice that is just slow suicide? I regret it now. I regret wanting to not be a pansy. But I'm afraid it's too late to take that back now.

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**Once again, I know the chapters are super short right now. They should get longer once the introductions are done. Thanks for the reviews! I hope you are enjoying the story! R&R!**

**Love, Twipi :D  
**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: Don't own SWAC! oh, and happy OCTOBER 2ND! Chad Dylan Cooper appreciation day! **

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**Sorry I took so long! I've been super busy with projects at school! I hope you enjoy!**

CH. 4 GRADY

My name is Grady Mitchell. You probably know me as the fat funny guy on So Random. I'm not the funny guy, I'm the _fat _funny guy. I don't get the girls like Nico does, I just make people laugh. I mean, that's not a bad thing, I like being funny, I just wish the fat part of my life didn't exist. Sadly, it always will, because I force this horrible reality upon myself.

Binging, pigging out, whatever you like to call it. This is my life. You eat one burger, I eat three, and then a fistful of french fries. It's not even that I'm trying to eat this much, it just happens. Once I start, I can't stop. My nights are spent hiding in the corner of my room, eating the hidden stashes of food I keep in my drawers. I have to hide the food because my parents want me to diet. They feed me nothing at dinner. Just some stupid carrots sticks and a few slices of turkey. They are puzzled why the weight won't come off. It's all my stupid fault! I'm the one ruining this horrid diet. It's because I can't control myself. I'm so weak in so many ways.

I still remember, two years ago, I had a girlfriend. I never told anyone about her because I don't like to remember. She was beautiful. She had shimmering black hair and piercing green eyes, and she was mine. Her name was Jordan. She loved me, and I loved her. We dated for a whole year. Everything was perfect. Then, I got the chance to be on So Random. She didn't want me to go because she thought Hollywood would ruin me, so, at first, I didn't take the job offer. I rather have Jordan than a job. Then, the next week, even though she was so "happy" I was staying, I saw her making out with another guy. She told me that it wasn't what it looked like, but I'm not an idiot. Luckily, Mr. Condor was kind enough to let me accept the job offer, and I flew out to Hollywood the next day. This is when my binge problem started. Every time I thought about Jordan, I ate. It was my way of coping with the pain I felt inside. Before I knew it, I had gained ten pounds in one week. What kind of guy gains that much weight in a week? It didn't help that I was in Hollywood, either. You are judged by how you look.

I remember the first tabloid that came out about me. On the cover was a horrible picture of me walking my dog down the streets of LA, minding my own business. The title under it read _So Random, more like So FATdom_. The title was stupid, but the article was very hurtful. It had supposed "quotes" from my cast members, them all talking about my weight.

"Nico Harris says: I don't want to be friends with a hamburger". I talked to Nico about that quote. He says it was taken out of context, that he really was talking about hamburgers. I hope that's the case. He is my best friend, but then again, Jordan was my girlfriend, and she left me. Who's going to leave me next?

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**Thanks for reading! And once again, HAPPY OCTOBER 2ND! Hahaha, My Two Chad's was great...anyway, thanks to everyone who's been reading and reviewing! You're the best! R&R!**

**Love, Twipi :D  
**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I don't own SWAC...sorry**

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CH. 5: NICO

My name is Nico Harris. Most of you probably know me as the super fly guy on So Random. You probably think because I'm super fly and work on a TV show, I have a lot of money. Actually, I'm close to being broke. Then your next question is probably, why am I broke? Well, it's because I have a problem.

I am a gambler. I like to go out and make bets and in return, get some cash. Sadly, I always lose. Then why do I gamble? It's because now it's an addiction. My brain always thinks that next time is the time I'm going to get the big bucks, but it never happens. I always leave with less money than I bet in the first place. For example, I just got $5,000 for my last episode of So Random. I gambled $3,000. That left me with $2,000, and I had to use that money to pay the bills. So, between food, clothes, taxes, bills, and other necessities, I'm broke.

This makes it hard to keep a girlfriend. A fine lady asks you on a date, and they expect you to take them somewhere nice because you're on TV. If you are a celebrity, you should be able to pay for the date. Then I take them over to my place to watch a movie, and they aren't always completely ok with that. Some accept it, but eventually they want to go somewhere nice. That's when I tell them I can't afford to go somewhere nice, and then they leave me. This is why I get along so well with Grady. He understands what it's like to lose love, or never be able to get it in the first place.

Jennifer was the closest I ever got to a real relationship. She was a pretty girl. Five foot three with beautiful gold curls and a nose that crinkled up every time she laughed. I loved her, and she loved me. She was easy to please. She didn't mind that every date was us curled up on my couch watching a cheesy movie and ordering a pizza. She was cool with that, until one night. It was our one year anniversary. She really wanted us to go to someplace nice because of how special of an occasion it was. I had to come clean and tell her I didn't have the money. She didn't seem angry or offended, she just seemed upset. She went on and on about how I didn't tell her earlier, and that hurt her. Then she started saying things like how was I ever going to raise a family if I couldn't raise myself. Come on, I'm 17! I'm not thinking about kids yet! Anyway, she left. And that was the last girlfriend I ever had.

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**Sorry it's been so long! I was super busy with homework, then I got a stomach bug, and I finally am up to writing again now! So, thanks so much for the AMAZING reviews! You guys are the best!**

**Love, Twipi :D  
**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: Don't own SWAC, sorry :)**

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**Warning: This is probably the darkest ch. so far...so yeah**

CH. 6: ZORA

My name is Zora Lancaster. You probably know me as the littlest Random on So Random. I may be dark and twisted, but I'm also supposedly the peppy, energetic one. This is ironic. In actuality, I am the saddest, least energetic Random. I may be smart, but who really cares.

August 14th, 2007. That's the day my mom died. We were driving in the car on the way home from my So Random audition. I had already been told that I most likely got the part, so we were very happy. We were singing as loud as we could to the blasting radio. Because of that, we hit a semi. It was a head on collision. My mother had thrown herself in front of me to save me. She died. I lived. Do you have any idea the guilt that comes with knowing you're the reason for your mother's death? I live with my father who is an alcoholic. He's impossible to live with, literally. I usually sleep over at the set or sometimes someone else will let me stay the night with them. Marshall has sort of become another father to me. He lets me stay in the studio late at night. He takes me out to dinner. He attends all of my important life events. It still doesn't take away the pain, though. The horrible, writhing pain.

Do you know what it feels like to be numb? It's hollow, cold, and lonely. Sometimes that's all I feel. Complete emptiness. Other times, it's like a knife is being shoved into my chest. The pain spreads through all your veins. It feels like you're going to drown. Mayhem is going through your head, and the only things you want are to die or to somehow make the pain stop. Sadly, the only way to make the pain stop is to induce physical pain. Trust me, I've tried it all. Cutting, burning, hair pulling, hitting, and it works, for a bit. Then, you just end up feeling guilty for a while, which makes you hurt yourself again, and the cycle continues. It's the most vicious cycle a person can ever feel. Every minute alive is like your own personal Hell. Every second, another moment of life wasted. You are the reason why everyone is so miserable. It's your fault. You don't deserve to live.

These are the thoughts that haunt my mind every waking moment. These are the thoughts that I try to deal with as I drag each foot across the ground. The Randoms think I'm weird. They don't know how I really feel. You wonder why I hide up in the vents alone all day? It's to keep me away from the rest of them. Sonny is a little more accepting then the others, but it still hurt me when we were on the "bonding" camping trip and she called me a little freak. I am an actress though, so I try to put on a mask for everyone. They have no idea that I'm hurting so badly. Hurting so badly that I have to hurt myself. Hurting so badly that I want to kill myself. They will never know. My mask is invincible.

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**I hope you enjoyed this. This was the last introduction chapter. All the characters' lives will be starting to connect now and such! So, please review! I had a bad bad day, and a review would make me smile :D**

**Love, Twipi :D**

**(also, check out my story "I'm the one who said yes" and (because her name escapes me at the moment) look up who the contest was for and enter! She can't finish the contest unless she has enough entries. Also ENTER MY CONTEST! I NEED MORE ENTRIES TOO! :D)  
**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: Don't own SWAC. sorry :)**

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CH. 7: SONNY

Today was a big day for So Random. It was our fiftieth So Random episode. It had been my dream to be on the show as long as I could remember, so I was pretty excited about the event. There was just one problem. Marshall had picked out dressed for all of us to wear. Tawni was going to look perfect in hers, and so was Zora. They were skinny. Skinny equals pretty. Pretty equals looking perfect in their size negative one. I was probably a size fifty, just like the episode. Marshall had a black sequined dress for me. It had a large open back and it cut off before the knees. How was I going to wear this and show off all of my fat? I just knew that he picked this outfit out so I could get laughed at. He knew that if I was the funniest girl on the show, I would need to look the funniest too. I was just that fat. The dress even looked big too, like me. Tawni said that it was even a size smaller than hers, but I know she's lying. Tawni could never be a size larger than me. Why does she have to always lie to me?

Speaking of lies, Chad Dylan Cooper lied to me today. For some reason he was waiting for me in the Prop House. In his hand he had a box of chocolates. Why the heck would he be giving me more calories? Oh yeah, because he wants me to be fat, like my mom. Anyway, he told me that he got those for me as a belated birthday present (he forgot my birthday a month ago, not like I expected him to remember). What a horrible gift. I took the chocolate box, opened the lid, and one by one dropped the fatty, grease-covered, death-bringing chocolates into the wastebasket. This left Chad's mouth agape, barren for words. He yelled at me, saying those were expensive German chocolates and that it was stupid for me to throw them away like that. I yelled at him telling him that the only reason he gave the chocolates to me was he wanted me to get fat. He then told me that I didn't need to worry because I was skinny and- I cringe at the thought of this lie- how _beautiful_ I am. What a big, fat liar! I burst out into tears, running into the restroom, after these vicious lies. I'm not beautiful. I will never be beautiful because I am too fat! Why would Chad even go there! Even though I hadn't eaten anything and even though I wasn't bulimic, I stuck my fingers down my throat, making my body puke up any bit of juice it had in it. I needed to be empty. I needed to burn the calories. I needed any poison in my body out. It had to be gone. The enemy needed to be killed.

I got up from the toilet. I had to grab a hold of the sides of the stall to stop myself from falling down. I was pretty dizzy. The calories must be blurring my mind. I rushed over to the So Random set. It was time to film.

"Sonny, good you're here, get your dress on and get out here to greet our studio audience!" Marshall seemed so happy. Probably because he couldn't wait to see how fat I was. I reluctantly went backstage and slipped the death dress on. I looked in the mirror. It looked horrible on me. It was way too tight, showing off all my fat. Why was I so ugly? I heard the theme music start to play from on stage. Quickly, I mustered up all my strength and tears and walked out on the stage. I put on a fake smile. Everyone cheered and clapped. I don't know why. It was probably for Tawni. Speaking of Tawni, she walked over to my side, putting an arm around me.

"Sonny, you look great!" She whispered in my ear.

"Whatever." Tawni seemed surprised by my answer, but she shrugged it off. I just stood there, feeling weak, as I heard the announcer voice say,

"Are you ready to get So Random!" I know I'm not.

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**Hope you liked it! And keep in mind, even though the intros are over, this is just the begining of the story. SO MUCH MORE is gonna happen! So hold on tight! Thanks for all the reviews! **

**Love, Twipi :D  
**


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: Don't own SWAC!**

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CH.8: TAWNI

It was the day of my big photo shoot. The ones where you go get your fancy head shots done so they can put them on shirts and stuff. Yeah, that day. I wasn't particularly looking forward to it, after all, I went to a party last night.

I usually don't go to parties, but I had been working so hard this week, I felt like I need to just have some crazy fun. It was James Conroy's party. Even though he's my ex, we still keep in touch. Anyway, he was in town this weekend, and he was throwing a big party at his friend's mansion. Of course, he invited me, and unlike all the other times, I said yes. I went there in this really pretty black sequin dress, ready to party it up. It started out just me chatting it up with some cute boys. I was trying to ignore the huge stash of alcohol in the corner of the room. Of course, everyone was drinking it. I knew if I started to drink it, I would never be able to stop, so I refrained. Then, one of the cutest boys in the room decided to get me a drink. How could I refuse him? He was gorgeous! I thought that one drink wouldn't hurt. I could control myself. So, I took a sip of the poison. Before I knew it, I had gone through at least five cups of it. I was completely tipsy, doing things I'm not proud of and falling down all over the place. Who knows what all I got into! All I know is that when I woke up, my dress was torn all the way up my leg, and there was dried punch in my hair. I had a huge headache. Slowly, I waltzed out of the mansion, and found my way to Condor studios to take a shower.

So, here I am on photo shoot day with a major hangover, all because of my stupidity. The stylist is trying to cover up the dark rings under my eyes, and I'm trying to keep down my breakfast.

"Hold still." The make-up person says as she shines a bright light in my eyes to apply my eye makeup. I let out a groan. The light isn't helping my migraine.

"Sorry." Within five minutes, she is done, and I am sent out to the set. It's just a simple white background. I'm in a pink-flowery dress, looking innocent as ever. I wonder if my fans would still love me if they figured out I was an alcoholic? Does it matter? Maybe I could attract a new crowd.

"Now, Tawni, babe, I need you to just look at this camera and smile," I turned my head, "perfect!" My stomach was feeling really queasy by this point. I tried to run over to the bathroom, but the photographer told me to "hold it" and "we'll be done in five minutes". I could feel my face getting hotter. I couldn't hold it in any longer. Before I knew it, I had puked all over the set and my pretty dress, "I think we're done here." Was all the photographer said as he stormed out.

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**Sorry it's been so long! I needed a break from ff, and I had a busy November anyway. I'm 16 now! I know this chapter is short, but I hoped you enjoyed it! HAPPY THANKSGIVING! R&R!**

**Love, Twipi :D  
**


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: Don't own SWAC. Sorry**

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CH. 9: CHAD

Today was the day. Today I am asking Sonny Munroe out on a date. I tried to drop hints earlier, like giving her a box of chocolate and calling her beautiful, but none of it seemed to work. In fact, it seemed to make her hate me more. This made me nervous to pop the question. If she wouldn't accept my chocolates, why in the world would she accept a date with me? The thought was truly crazy, only making the urge to smoke greater. I stepped outside the Mackenzie Falls studio for a few minutes, pulling out a cigarette, lighting it, and breathing in the poison. I could feel the calmness move through my nerves. Sadly, I knew the calmness was killing me. How long could I keep doing this to myself? I could still feel my chest pains from all the coughing I had been doing lately. The coughing that kept leading to blood, so much blood. Blood on my shirt, my hands, the stupid toilet. Why was I coughing up so much? I must be dying, and it is all because I made the stupid decision to smoke. Sonny would never want me this way.

I didn't want to chicken out, though. Maybe Sonny could help me stop smoking! Yeah, maybe she could hold me accountable and make sure I stop! Maybe a date with her would be a great idea. I decided to rush over to prop house before I changed my mind. Like I expected, Sonny was there. She was standing in the corner of the room, facing a mirror, crying. Shocked at the image of the troubled Sonny, I ran over to her, wrapping my arms around her waist.

"Let go of me!" She shrieked through gritted teeth. I let go quickly, not wanting to further ruin my chances of getting her to say yes to a date.

"Sonny, I have to ask you something." I could see her fists clench. What was her problem?

"What could you possibly want to ask me?" I saw her arms self-consciously go over her stomach, as if she was hiding it.

"I wanted to know if you would go on a date with me." She stood there in silence for what felt like an eternity. I could see the bones in her cheeks protruding as she grimaced. Sonny seemed really skinny lately…

"Why do you want to go on a date with me?" This seemed like an odd question, but I answered anyways.

" Because I really like you." She stood there, thinking about my answer.

"Maybe." And with that, she stormed out of the room. I didn't know how to feel. A maybe was better than a no, but still not a yes. I decided to keep my hopes up, though. I still had time. Suddenly, a violent rush hit my chest. The coughing was beginning. Before I knew it, I was doubled over the couch, coughing blood all over the pillows. The pain was unbearable. I let out a shriek. Maybe I didn't have time…

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**Sorry it has been so long! I was super super super super busy with finals and Christmas stuff, but luckily I had time to squeeze this out today! I hope you guys enjoyed the chapter! R&R!**

**Love, Twipi :D**


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: Don't own SWAC.**

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CH. 10: GRADY

I can't believe it, but tonight, I had a date. It was even with a beautiful girl. Her name is Sophia, and she's a supermodel from Brazil! This sounds like a dream come true, but really, it was a disaster.

Everything started out just fine. I picked her up from her house in my corvette. I opened the door for her, I helped her buckle her seat belt, and I even let her choose what she wanted to listen to on the radio. She was totally into me. I would tell her a cheesy joke, and she would laugh. I would start blushing, and she'd kiss my cheek. It started to feel like Jordan again. I couldn't help but feel upset. Every time I looked into her green eyes, I saw Jordan's reflected back. I can see the time she cheated on me. I can see the airplane I took, leaving my home and Jordan forever. I see my failure.

I tried to blow all of it off for the rest of the car ride. This was a new girl, and a new beginning. I wouldn't fail this time. We were going to a really nice restaurant. It was this new Italian place that had just opened up, and all the hottest stars went there. I knew she would be impressed. I had reserved the finest, most expensive table for the evening. It has this really great window view, and you could see all of LA. The sight was breathtaking, almost as breathtaking as she was-. I caught the thought short. Jordan was my past. Sophia was my future. I could feel the urge to eat rising with each breath. I wanted to be alone, eat in a corner, and never see any of these people's faces again. I tried to stay calm as the waiter asked us our orders. I ordered spaghetti with meatballs. Sophia ordered a salad.

I could feel my palms sweating as I waited for the food to get here. I needed to eat. I needed the food now. Sophia kept asking if I was alright, but all I could do was barely shake my head yes. Once the food got there, I did the stupidest thing I could have ever done. I took the food and ran. Yes, I ran out of the store, making sure I put the correct amount of money down, and ran to my car. I sat in the backseat, forcing the food down my throat as fast as I could, tears streaming down my face. I knew I still wasn't over Jordan. And now, I ditched some supermodel to go eat food! I know that she will never give me another chance. She didn't even follow me outside, or check what was wrong. I decided to call a limo to come pick her up. I didn't want her to have to call a taxi or something. I knew that probably wouldn't meet her standards. I knew I probably wouldn't meet her standards. I got into the driver's seat of the car and drove home. Another failed date. Another lost girl. Another full stomach.

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**Sorry it's been SOOOO long! School has kept me busy, and I have had zero energy to write. Sorry this wasn't the best chapter, but I hope you still enjoyed it. I hope to still work on this story, but it may be a while before another chapter is posted. Also, let's keep Japan in our prayers. This devastation is very saddening, and I wish them the best of luck. **

**On the bright side, I HAVE A BLOG NOW :D check it out! . **

**R&R!**

**Love, Twipi :D**


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: I don't own SWAC. Sorry**

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CYCLE 11: NICO

_I rolled the dice, hoping to roll a six. Little did I know that everything would change after that one swift motion_.

Today was the big day. The guys and I were throwing a huge gambling competition. We put all our money down, and whoever came out a winner was going to be rich. I needed that money more than all the other boys here. I was the one who had a reputation to keep up. I was tired of going to Grady's house to take showers because I couldn't pay my water bill. I was tired of asking Mr. Condor if I could take some extra food home from the cafeteria because I couldn't afford to buy food all the time. I was tired of turning down girls' date offers because I couldn't give them what they wanted. I was tired of it all. I couldn't wait to go out gambling. It was my one release, and my one hope that things would change.

The game was simple: roll the die, get a six, you win. I held the dice in my hand, whispering a silent prayer. I needed the money, more than anything at the moment. I stopped a tear from escaping my eyelids. Nico Harris, bad boy, doesn't cry. I rolled the dice, hoping to roll a six. Everyone was whooping and hollering as my dice rolled around and around. Eventually, the die landed on a six, and I couldn't believe my eyes.

"I'M A BILLIONARRE!" I screamed off the top of my lungs. I was too happy to notice the car pulling up behind me, and the paid officials running over to my side.

"Sir, you are under arrest for gambling in a non-government approved tournament." **(A/N I don't know if you can get arrested for that, but he's over 18, so I needed something, sorry.) **What could he possibly mean? I'm over eighteen. I can gamble. This shouldn't be illegal.

"I don't understand, officer." By now, all the other boys had run away, leaving me to fend for myself.

"You are gambling, and no one approved for you to be gambling here or anything. Sir, that is illegal. We need to take you downtown." The police put handcuffs on my wrist, and sat me gently in the back of the car. The tears escaped now. How did I get here? I'm on TV. People on TV don't get arrested! I got myself into this situation. Stupid, stupid me got myself arrested. I never should have started gambling in the first place. Gambling got me here. Gambling started every problem I had. For once, I hated it. I hated money, I hated competition, I hated gambling! My tears came out in sobs now. Even though I was crying, Nico Harris now has the bad boy reputation down to a T.

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**I had a little time to write finally! Yeah! I think my English teacher would be proud of this chapter because I used repetition and parallelism to convey my message. haha Well, I really hope you enjoyed it! R&R!**

**Love, Twipi :D**


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